"She was a manic depressive, which was impressive"- Mickey Avalon.. More thoughts, musings, and societal/self observations for your chune top. Enjoy fuckers!!
You knew who the mother/father of your child was before you had a baby. Having a baby didn’t expose it, you just choose to ignore the signs even when you shouldn't have.
When someone says "I never thought he/she would be like this once they became a parent", this is only true in 15-20% of cases. Some people build a hell of a facade that falls once they get married or become a parent. Some people are great actors, especially in the first year of a relationship. But when most people say that, it's bullshit. They are in denial, don't want to admit they made a mistake in who they had kids with, or are naive as fuck. Shit, it might even be a mix of all three.
That random spurt of anger? Not recognizing/caring when you needed support or had a bad day? Putting their own needs before anybody else's in their life? Not being able to cope with small (or big) situations as they present themselves? You didn't think any of these warning signs would fester into something bigger once this person became a parent? Did you write them off, downplay, or accept them when this person was just your partner? Well, unfortunately, now you (and your child) are forced to deal with this person for at least 18 years.
We have to do better as people to recognize these behaviors and not make connections/life changing decisions with people who aren't ready for either of those. Yes, people can put on a hell of a facade. All of us have been fooled by somebody who turned out to be a terrible person, friend, etc. The difference is most of us didn't have a child with that person and expose their child to them. If you see flashes of potentially problematic behavior, don't ignore it. And don't think that having a kid with this person will change them. 90% of the time, it doesn't.
Engagement and wedding culture are toxic, chaotic, and full of opportunistic leeches.
When you truly think about it, the culture surrounding weddings and engagements is pathetic. It’s a circus like atmosphere (even the smaller ones) that creates a rocky, often times chaotic start for a marriage. Blowing thousands on an engagement ring that's only worth it's weight in gold in the end? Pathetic. Wedding planners advertised as being helpful yet often adding chaos and bullshit to an already overblown process? Punchable. By the way, when it comes to these wedding planners: Are they helping or secretly causing your fiancée to hate you before you even walk down the aisle?
For every wide eyed future bride, there's a jeweler ready to upsell your future husband, wedding planner ready to guilt your fiancée/family, dress/tux shop ready to make 500% profit on you, and don't get me started on the subpar food that awaits at your reception. All in all, toxic and chaotic. If you aren't one of these people described above, I applaud you. Congratulations for not getting caught up in the societal bullshit.
Who am I though? Even after all that, year after year, tens of thousands of couples dive right into this circus/culture. For every person willing to dive into it, there's a team of people (planners, venue, jewelers, etc.) ready to guide you along the way. How mad can I be at this team of people who are making a living off of people wanting to keep up with Joneses and giving into the toxicity/chaos that society has normalized? If I'm annoyed with anybody, it's opportunistic networks like Disney/Hallmark and Hollywood in general who have only contributed to and propped up the circus.
Except these guys:
If you are truly passionate about a social issue, posting about it online usually has minimal impact. What are you doing on the ground?
When it comes to movements or societal issues that you are passionate about: If all that you are going to do is share posts, make comments, & all your actions are online based, you are only doing half the work. And if you don’t have a following, your impact is minimal. What are you doing in person? Are you organizing? Are you joining like minded people & putting words Into action? Or are you just reposting Tik Toks, Facebook reels, and adding your two cents in thinking you are making an impact?
Most movements from the last 15 years have suffered from this issue. The online flurry and attention does not match up to the in person turnouts, organizing, or on the ground action. These movements slowly weaken, splinter off into smaller groups with varying ideas of how the movement goes on, and ultimately become less impactful over time. A great example is when Roe V. Wade was overturned and mass protests lasted two weeks. What the fuck is that?
I’ve always respected on the ground folks more than social media activists and keyboard warriors. You know the ones who post black squares on IG, put hashtags in their profiles, and repost Facebook reels giving surface level explanations of their cause. No substance to their support, except for that selfie with a cute sticker on a Stanley stating the slogan of the hour. Truly diving into supporting a cause is exhausting, constant, thankless work, and demoralizing at times. Small wins feel great and bigger ones are scarce. Even being on the wrong side of the cause is exhausting and demoralizing, ask this fucking guy.
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